A few weeks ago Spotify told me that ‘Liefde van de Vloer’ by Linde Schone is my most played song of 2017. I can imagine, cause for most of the year this was my soundtrack. It brought me courage and strength, but it also taught me that I had not learned anything from it, later in the year, which is insane when you think about it, but I am not ready yet to discuss that…

Anyway, I am writing this to you on the last few days of 2017, and I cant help but think back. What kind of year was this? It was my first year of living all by myself without roommates, boyfriends or anything. It was my first year of really paying my mortgage all on my own. It was my first year of really dating. Mainly, it was my first year of really understanding that I had to make myself happy, without having someone to fall back on.

And of course, it was the year my heart got broken. Never ever had I felt like this, never ever had I understood love songs this well. And as I try not to think about it too much, my mind still wonders off to that dark place a lot lately. I blame it on the end of the year, though I fear that might not be it.

During Christmas this super awesome George Michael documentary was on the television, and I watched it together with my parents. There was a bit part about the song Jesus to a Child, a song that I used to hate, but now it seems to be my real soundtrack of 2017, and hopefully it will stay in 2017. It is such a beautiful song, I listen to it everyday, especially now that I know what George Michael was coming from when he wrote it. It is remarkable, it is small but yet big, it is heartwrenching but there is a spark of hope in there.

Especially the part at the end where he sings the things below, are really touching my heart. I know what he sings about, I can feel it in every fiber of my body, as if he knows exactly how I feel.

I would like to end this post with those words, as they are so powerful it is useless to say anything after them. ❤

So the words you could not say
I’ll sing them for you
And the love we would have made
I’ll make it for two

For every single memory
Has become a part of me
You will always be my love

Well I’ve been loved
So I know just what love is
And the lover that I kissed
Is always by my side