So as I have now seen all Modern Family episodes on Netflix and I am still not sure if I should or should not start watching Pretty Little Liars, I’ve decided to treat myself with a few documentaries, starting off with the unofficial Kurt Cobain documentary called Montage of Heck.

The lead singer of Nirvana has always been a little bit of a mystery to me. I was just a little bit too young to really understand everything that happened to him, and to understand the impact the band made on the world, but when I was a teenager I did love their music, especially the MTV Unplugged session they did just a little while before that fateful moment in Kurts life.

I understood what people found so good about the band, but I never really got what made people so interested in Kurt himself. Again, that is not because of them, it is purely because I was simply too young to be really impacted by Nirvana when they were still making awesome rock music. I thought Kurt Cobain was a scruffy man who probably did a lot of drugs. However, I have grown older at some point (it just happened, I swear!) and then it hit me. When I was little I listened to their music, when I was a teen I understood their music and now that I am older I feel their music.

You feel the pain Kurt must have been in, the complications in his mind, and before I watched this documentary I realised that he had the brain of a genius. He was so good at what he did, even though he never went to rock school, even though he did not have many friends and he was more the loner type guy. He had the mind of a genius and that is not easy. It makes you weird, a bit of an outcast, and from that pain I think he sang.

Obviously in the documentary I saw that the pain was also his stomach, but even after watching Montage of Heck I can only think about Kurt Cobain. Or to be more specific, Kurt Cobain’s pain. Now I do not want to say this documentary is amazing, cause in many ways it is not. I think the moments where talking, noise and scribbles come together are way too heavy and unfollowable with the brain. But I do think the makers of the documentary really spend a lot of time and money in making the animations and they are excellent. Not just the ones which is like a animated cartoon of Kurt, but the way his (?) doodles are animated are very fascinating, I don’t know him but I like to think he would have loved seeing his art come to life like that.

I am still not entirely sure what is and what isn’t written by Kurt himself, but that’s okay. It is the whole doodling and writing down lyrics and other things that made me understand it all so much better. When I was younger I used to write lyrics all the time, and I would also use a little notebook to scribble them down. In the documentary it all seemed like a very logical and organic way of getting Nirvana songs together, it was easy to imagine and relate to, even though Kurt Cobain’s thoughts were so different from many of our thoughts.

That moment in the doc when Kurt and Courtney are alone in their apartment during that period of time where Nirvana took a ‘break’ for half a year, still haunts me. What you see there is so immensely sad. I do not know if it is drugs or just plain boredom, but that period of time simply looked pretty awful to me. At first Kurt looks pretty happy, playing with the kitten and all, but then it gets so grim, I nearly pressed the fast forward button.

The reason I did not is that Kurt Cobain fascinates me so much. Like I said, I expected to see more of a scruffy rough man in this production, but instead I saw a very hot guy that was actually pretty loving towards his kid. It may sound a bit strange to say because he is currently not with us anymore, but he was very good-looking and I never really saw it or realized it. Courtney Love says it in the documentary as well: he looked better than Brad Pitt. And she might be right.

The reason Montage of Heck is such an intriguing documentary is because it is all about Kurt Cobain’s brain. I like to think his brain is represented very well in this production, and the maker (Brett Morgen) did a good job by translating it all into this understandable story. I would highly recommend you watch it, though you have to be prepared for having a few Kurt Cobain-esque thoughts during the rest of the week.