Why is being friends with your ex a thing?

Not many of my exes are still friends of mine. That is not because I am some kind of monster that does not want to see them anymore. It is not because I am still so into them that I could not pretend to just be friends with them. It is mainly because most relationships have been ended by myself and for some reason the pride of the guys weighs a lot more than the love we shared. I mean, to some extent I understand that, but after the heartbreak is over, would there not be an awesome friendship left, the person did not suddenly change into a villain or something, now did they?

I am doing my best to stay friends with my newest ex (which sounds like I am some 60 year old diva that has been married 4 times, hihi), and until now it is going pretty well. Of course it is sometimes hard to see him do things that he would never do when we were still together, but then I realise there are also many ways in which I have changed since the breakup, and that that only shows that the breakup was a good choice, and that we both needed new energy, different energy, to put into something new.

The thing I can’t really stand though, is the judgment by other people. I was chatting to this guy I know from a dating website (haha, there will definitely be some blog posts about that by the way), and he almost did not want to speak to me anymore because he found it so strange that I would have friendship with my ex. He was like “do you want to get back with him? Why bother speaking to the guy then?” which is interesting, cause it all boils down to one of the biggest questions in the history of humankind: can women and men be friends?

I think they can, and I think an ex is a perfect person to have such a friendship with. You know it does not work between the two of you, so there is no sexual tension or any other stuff between the two. Yet all people around me think it is strange that W and I still hangout. I mean, it is not always easy, I am not going to pretend it is, but mainly we still enjoy the same things, so we still enjoy doing them together. As long as you work hard to not judge each other, and not try to make nasty comments about how much they have changed, you can have an awesome friendship with your ex. And you can still get something out of the friendship, as you both change. It’s not boring.

I hope people can try to be a little bit more openminded. Do not tell me that I will probably get back with my ex, just because other people might have. Any relationship is different, and I cherish what I have with W, even if it might not last long. But then again, if our friendship would end, it would probably be because of people around us no longer being okay with it. Pretty strange if you think about it, how many exes ended a perfectly good friendship just for the sake of keeping other people happy. I mean, I have been in the bad corner of this situation too, and I can imagine what they come from, especially if they are the new girl/boyfriends of the people, but people that do not even really know me and be all judgmental and stuff, really uncool.

On the other hand, maybe it’s easy for little old me to say, as I am free… Will definitely try to get back to this subject when I am in a relationship again, hihi.

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