Ted 2: How many brain cells did I lose?

I never watched Ted, the first movie about the teddy bear coming to life, made by Seth McFarland. I did not think it would be my cup of tea, and I know this is going to sound snobbish, but I simply do not really enjoy college humor kinda movies or stonerflicks. As I am often writing for about movies professionally, I thought it would be nice to go to as many pre-premieres as possible, so that I can write a review in case I cannot go to the press screening. Plus, if someone else would be happy to take up the job, I can always write something about it on this beautiful blog.

As you might have noticed, I am writing about Ted 2 on this blog today, as it would not seem appropriate for me to take on the review as I did not see the first one. I can imagine what the first one was about, as it is made by one my least favorite directors in the whole wide world. But, as so many people seem to be loving the first flick, I thought I’d go and see what all the fuss is about. I had my expectations, it was going to be American Pie-style humor with a lot of slap stick and negative references to things we love.

I was right, and that is okay (singing that on the lyrics of Whitney Houstans It’s not right, but it’s okay 😉 ). Many people love that kind of jokes, the fact that I cannot laugh about it does not really mean much. I hardly laugh out loud about funny things, I don’t know why. When I was a child, my brother and I would watch Tom and Jerry cartoons together, and he would be ROFL-ing, literally, while I was staring at the screen not really moving a muscle. This by the way does not mean that I did not enjoy it, I am just not a laughing out loud kinda person, although that makes me sound even more like a cynical person with a constant cloud of lightning above her head. Ever looked at the PsychoUnicorn logo? 😉

Anyway, Ted 2 had some nice jokes, I kind of laughed one time. Still there is an issue with this movie. It is not even the fact that I hated how many big companies were advertising in it (Hasbro, you are hurting my feelings!) and it was not the fact that of course there were naked boobs in the flick (McFarlane is notorious for his Oscars Tittie Song). Those were not the real issues, the problem I have with that movie is that 60 percent of the scenes felt like I was watching a deleted scenes reel as a dvd extra. There were so many ‘dead’ moments, like the scene where Ted acts as if he is a toy Ted at Comic Con, and then the bad guy picks him out anyway and still pays for him. That whole paying scene; it does not add anything.

I also think it is a pity Mark Wahlberg plays in the movie, I know his character is brainless as can be because that is just what fits with Ted, but Mark has done so many awesome things lately, why would he go back to doing bad movies? He could have done a McConaughey a long time ago, why did he not push through? I guess the money must be good, why else would you take on a project like this, when you have played in awesome films such as Prisoners, Lone Survivor, The Fighter and when you work on projects like Entourage and Boardwalk Empire (<3 ! ), please stick with that. May be Markie Mark does not want to be in movies that are showing red on Rotten Tomatoes instead of gorey green, but I think he is better than that, take it as a compliment, Mr Wahlberg!

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